The little child that makes a Buddha out of us turned four last week. I am not sure if it’s the age factor or if it’s the stage of life that we are in or if it’s the blessing of having a second opportunity to bring up a child, raising Ram has enriched our lives in more ways than one. It has taught us to be mindful parents, given us insights into the breadth and depth of human nature, and led us to experience life in all its fullness.
For instance, when the much dreaded terrible twos set in for Ram, I learnt that the only way I could manage it was by mindfully observing what triggered the tantrums, and understanding the dos and don’ts in that situation. To not melt in the heat of the circumstances and just be the calm solid presence in his life.
Or his potty training experience for that matter. To simply accept that it takes what it takes. He is his own person and all we can do is be an enabler in the process. We steered him in the right direction but he determined the pace. It was a very humbling experience.
As I sit here, recollecting the year that has gone by, the thought of Ram and his endearing ways bring a smile on my face and joy in my heart. Ram is a little charmer, our veshama kara kanna, our pattu kunjalam. One minute he makes us scoop him in our arms and the next minute he has us pulling our hair out. He is non-negotiable but if you set expectations upfront, he will live up to it to the tee.
I love how he is so clear about what he wants and how well he articulates the rationale behind his choices. “Mama, I do not want to learn swimming. If I go swimming I have to put my head under water and that will make my head get wet. I don’t like my head to get wet” or “ Amma I cannot wipe my bum bum by myself because I cannot reach the toilet paper. See it is so far away.” Better still, the articulation is accompanied with gestures and facial expressions. Beady eyed with arched eyebrows he would say, “Mama, see, you made this food karam, can you oodhi my mouth?” he would open his mouth and would not close it till I blow some air into it. He would not accept that he is mixing up the spiciness of the food with its temperature and that when the food is hot, you cool the meal not your mouth. Ha, perhaps, this is what they mean by child-like stubbornness?!
While Hari and I are the big slobs of the house, Ram is quite the opposite. Ram will not wear messy socks, will not step his foot in the bathroom if the floor is wet, and will not tolerate food spills. He does not like to be in the spotlight and dramatic outpouring of affection is the surest way to repel him. And it doesn’t matter if you are his mommy, disapproval is a big NO for him. “Mommy see you got mad at me, it made me sad and look at me now, I am crying”, “If you are upset with me, I will never ever be your best friend again.” Ram is a nature lover, voracious reader and a movie buff.
Ram simply likes to be; minding his own business, doing his thing, at his own pace. And just when you have made that conclusion about him, he will surprise you by wanting to sing in a room full of people.
Ram, I can go on and on about how you have touched our lives and made it so much more richer and happier for us. In your own little ways, you make us learn some of life’s lessons. We love you with every fiber of our being and are immensely thankful for your presence in our lives. May God bless you lovey love. Happy fourth b’day dearest little one. Wishing you the bestest of the best. With wagon loads of love, from appa, amma and anna.