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Acts of kindness, caring, and loving

I came home with unpleasant and undesirable emotions, my mood-o-meter rising well above boiling point. As soon as I entered, Da asked his usual question, “How was your dance class?”  “Bad. Very bad,” I answered in a stern tone as if it was his fault that I did not do well in class.

I heard the kids call out for me from the ommachi room. Da gave a heads up, “The kids have planned a surprise for you.”  The simmering despondency showed no signs of abating. “Ayoo, not now, not now please. The last thing I want to do is fake enthusiasm when I am fretting and fuming with every fiber in my being,” moaned the voice in my head. The lights were off, Hari was holding a long forgotten giant teddy bear stuffed toy and the room was like a nightclub with the lights from the projector dancing around. Ram was excitement personified with the new toy. I managed to say a wow, give a hug, unable to partake in the merriment. Although it was not obvious to me then, in hindsight, this was an act of kindness, one that I needed at that moment. A thoughtful random act of loving and sharing their joy with me. Made me feel accepted even when I could not accept myself.   

I continued my rant, “I did not prepare for dance class. I didn’t have the time to prepare. I just stood there like a statute. I am upset with myself. I am also disappointed that I will not be able to make it to tomorrow’s class. It is a challenging class and I am missing it. I am missing the opportunity to learn and get better.”  Seeing me genuinely upset, Da offered, “It looks like you could use a cup of tea. Go settle down, I will make some tea.”  Again another act of kindness. An act of caring, loving, and being there. Again one that did not please me then because  I was drowning in self inflicted frustration but it had an effect. Few minutes later, the hot piping tea brought my mood-o-meter dramatically down from its boiling point. “God bless this guy,” I thought to myself. Phew, finally, that first spark of positivity!

Hari came up to me with a guilty look, “Amma I feel like I am at fault for your dance class.” He and I have been were scrambling in the last minute all day today for a tamil exam tomorrow. This confession was the third act of kindness, an act of taking responsibility and showing remorse for his slackness. My mood-o-meter was finally at room temperature. “Illa kanna, don’t make it your fault. I am here to help you. I want to help you. But last minute help is very stressful and has consequences not just for you, but for the entire family. Let’s not repeat this. ”

I owe a debt of gratitude to these minions of mine for all their acts of kindness, caring, loving, and being there for me even when I am unpleasant to be with. God bless them! They helped channelize my negativity into something more constructive this evening. Next time you see a loved one in a sour mood, make him/her some tea, give a comforting nod, and just be there. Even when he or she is unable to acknowledge your acts of kindness, deep in his/her hearts know that you are being blessed. Take it from someone who experienced it. 

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6 thoughts on “Acts of kindness, caring, and loving

  1. Murali says:

    Dear Baby,
    There is a saying that as you enter the house with bad emotions, you have to leave the reasons behind. you could have well done by going to a restaurant ,sit down and analyse the reasons.and enter with freshness to home.Look at the kind act of Da and Hari owning the reasons upon himself to give relief for their dear.
    Ram enthusiasm to show you something. you are such a lucky lady.
    Keep cool. It is just like the children’s poor performance in school you consoling them
    Appa.

    • Maha says:

      I liked your first sentence appa. Very true, if only it were that easy!

      On Sat, Dec 3, 2016 at 11:48 PM, Thoughts Unlimited wrote:

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  2. Same pinch. I had the last minute tamil exam scramble two weeks ago, right on the day of a work deadline. You, it seems, were an epitome of grace at handling it compared to what I was.
    Hugs to you sister. An easy advice – its ok. Your one day’s dance class mess up does not matter in the long run. Quoting ABBA, “You’ll be dancing once again and the pain will end, You will have no time for grieving”.

    • Maha says:

      You see the light from a distance, let me just assure that it was all heat!

      Tamil is hard for us because I don’t know to read and write and I am suppose to be teaching him. Poor kid.

      You are right, still somehow, that frustration is so monumental in that instant that sanity has to work so much more harder to prevail.

      On Sun, Dec 4, 2016 at 5:51 AM, Thoughts Unlimited wrote:

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  3. UL says:

    Interesting comment – you don’t read and write Tamil, Maha? It might be another post but how come?

    And hey, we all have meltdowns, it is life, becoming aware of those meltdowns, acknowledging and expressing gratitude…that requires applause, big one. Well done..

    • Maha says:

      Can read a little but cannot write. Google Translator has been our study companion for the past several years.

      The problem with meltdowns is the destruction it brings to the ones close to us. That’s what I detest.

      On Thu, Dec 8, 2016 at 8:35 PM, Thoughts Unlimited wrote:

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